look high and low, pull in, drive to the top, park, scrounge around for all that has been spread around the car .. chapstick, cell phone, keys? check. take a quick look in the mirror, sigh at all that wacky hormones has done to my complexion, stand tall, walk briskly.
excuse me, where is six one six?
deep breath in, unfurrow brow, eyes open wide, smile forced upwards.
hi, i’m jessica. is this the amy wenzel workshop?
i drove the 6 hours there on friday and experienced i think every single emotion humanly possible. sometimes … a lot of times … infertility just gets the best of everything.
i gave myself a pep talk the whole way there … just suck it in, get through the weekend, use monday to let it all seep in and out.
yet somewhere an hour or two into the mixer on the first night i forgot for a moment that i was sad.
by the time i drove home today my eyes effortlessly stayed wide, my smile upward and my voice belting as loud as possible to it all … david gray, bonnie rait, dolly parton, snow patrol, rosie golan. I even stopped and enjoyed a nice dinner alone at the cracker barrel. thank you for your kindness, elisa. and, your warm coffee.
amy wenzel shared all that i needed so bad to hear. i am no longer running my business, it’s running me. i work day in and day out and am dying in the monotony of running a business. if only it were about being an artist .. that’s about a third of it. the rest is administrative and that is what is filling up so much of my days.
so, i’ve been thinking this summer and early fall about changes that must be made. there are things i don’t necessarily hate, some that i even love that i must say goodbye to. there are decisions that need to be made that will change the current state of this business … for the better. i need help. an assistant for sure. i need a continued support staff … people who can help me figure out just who i am as an artist and where i want this machine to be in 1, 5, 10 years from now.
these are all steps i have begun. some literally - like the designer i hired this summer who is changing every square inch of my branding (to be launched for the 2010 year) - some in my mind. nonetheless, amy and her weekend of coaching was just what i needed to move many of these from my brain into the real world.
changes to come …
503 weddings, pricing (yet again), how i operate day to day, week to week, staffing, networking, giving, branding and something i’m incredibly passionate about … a 2nd workshop? we’ll see …
i made sure to put amy’s name in the heading of this blog because if anyone googles her and is wondering what has been said about her workshops count this one as a comment:
go. it’s worth every penny.
time to go to bed. i haven’t seen 2 a.m. in a long, long, long time. i’ve learned to love 9:30 bedtimes and 7:30 alarm clocks. who knew?
from a beating heart to tired hands, sending all the love i can muster up …
jc
Jessica, THIS is exactly why I contacted you. Your writing is so honest, from your heart, so real - and so beautiful. Can’t wait!
(BTW the WS sounds like a dream, glad you had a lovely time!)
I’m glad to hear you had a great time! I would love to hear more…I’m hoping to go to a workshop next year! Hope you get lots of sleep!! =)
Can’t wait to see all the new stuff you learned! I am sure there will be even more fabulous photos to come!
whoa. and amen to all of those things that need to be changed. geez, i wish i had been at amy’s workshop! i would love to put many of those things into place, myself, and am thrilled for you to have the inspiration to start!
Just a quick thanks to you for including Amy’s name in your blog post - just as you said, I am googling her workshop to see if I can find any opinions, since dropping $1500 is never fun. But, you have helped push me over that edge - I’m going to book! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on her workshop!