Why hello world! Happy New Year!
You know when you’re swimming in the middle of the warm and beautiful, crystal-clear blue ocean and it feels amazing, but you can’t reeeaaaally enjoy the warm and beautiful, crystal-clear blue ocean because of its proximity? Like you’re so enjoying the swim and although the waves are a little rough at times you’re loving the adventure. But, you’re so engulfed by the warm water it’s impossible to really appreciate the beauty of the water. You’re simply too close to see it.
The people on the beach, lounging in their beach chairs, sunnies on, enjoying the sound of the waves and the cool breeze – yes, those are the people who can really see and enjoy the beauty of the water. And, one place isn’t necessarily better than the other. Both simply have different perspectives and both simply have to be visited in order for there to be balance. Too much water or too much beach can both be… well, too much.
I have spent the past almost 3-months in the water. And, it’s been a beautiful and wild ride! But, these past two weeks we have been on family vacation resting and restoring and I can say that the view from the beach has shown me just how majestic the water looks. It truly is breathtaking.
Translation for all you non-artsy types who are trying to figure out what the heck I’m talking about with water, waves and lounge chairs:
Having a newborn is no joke. Like really hard, no joke. It is all-consuming, take over your life, punch you in the face with “what the heck is going on?!”, overwhelm you with love and appreciation and then swallow you in a giant robe of sleep-deprivation.
To survive we have had to dig deep, lower our heads and just enter fully into the oh-so-properly-named “newborn fog.”
At first I did exactly what I did with Charley: I ran on adrenaline. And, I fought hard (I mean HARD) to live life as normal. As if we hadn’t just added a HUMAN BEING to our house. As if everything was just as it was pre-Lola. My coping mechanism was to act as if “oh, this is SO no big deal. I just did this *18* months ago.” But, then… then the bucket started to run dry. And, the bottom started to crack. And, one day I walked out of Crossfit (I told you I was fighting hard to continue on as normal), called my friend Beth and burst into tears. Not, the cute kind. Oh no, the so-ugly-your-face-goes-all-distorted-and-your-mouth-spits-saliva kind. “I am soooo exhausted. How am I supposed to do this??!”
And, then – just like that – I think we’re slowly moving on. The fog is lifting and the sweet babe (whom gets threatened to have her cheeks biten off every single day because she’s so scrumptious) …
… is starting to sleep longer at night (only sleeping a few hours at a time =’ed not fun). Oh, and her colic is gone (that =’ed not fun) and her reflux is under control thanks to Zantac (that pre-medicine =’ed not fun).
SOOOOOOOO… I am on the up, people! And, feeling SO much more rested! And, yes … yes, vacation will come to an end this weekend and I’ll find myself super tired again next week, but.. BUT!.. we have made it through the first 3-months and that is something worth celebrating!
Or picking your nose over. Whichever tickles your fancy.
Lots more posts coming your way in the coming days and weeks…
xo,
jc
p.s. I’ve missed you guys!